TOP 10 WORST TEAMS OF ALL TIME - part 1.

by Matt Minucci

So I was discussing the upcoming football season with a buddy of mine and somehow we got to talking about Matt Stafford and the Lions. And as conversations usually go when you're drinking Jack Daniels and Fresca, it turned to the Lions going 0-16 and being one of the worst single-season sports teams of all time. I couldn't help but try to sort out who I thought were the top 10 worst single-season teams of all time.  And here they are - part one at least, numbers 10 thru 6.  Come back for part two tomorrow.

10. The 1975 Washington Capitals

I'd rather cut my own throat than play for the '75 Caps.

The focus on hockey in this country is at an all-time low, so I can't really rank the worst hockey team of all time higher than 10th, merely because of the lack of social relevance. But man, this team was god-awful. The 74-75 Caps went a shocking 8-67-5. That's eight wins, five ties and 67 losses.  Their 21 points in a season is the worst for a team playing over 70 games in NHL history. Their 8 wins is also the record worst for an NHL playing more than 70 games. They had a .131 winning percentage, 39 of 40 road losses and 37 straight road losses - all NHL records. They had streaks where they went 1-12-1, 1-16-1 and 0-17. This team was phenominally bad. I'd make a joke, but what's the point?  The stats speak for themselves. Their starting goalie, Ron Low, was 8-36-2 with a 5.45 goals against average. His backup, Michel Belhumeur, was a sparkling 0-24-3 with a 5.36 gaa. Leftwing Mike Marson's plus/minus rating was, hilariously, -65.  That's just awesome.

9. 1942 Detroit Lions

And little has changed for the Lions since 1942.

The Lions! Hey whaddya know? Yes, we'll see a more recent incarnation of them later in this list, but even as far back as '42, the Lions knew how to lose. Spectacularly. The 42 Lions set the standard for badness in the NFL. They oozed badness from every poor of their being. The were the worst of the worst. The baddest of the bad. Well...maybe they weren't that bad, but Lord, they weren't good. The team went 0-11, getting shut out five times, held to 3 points once and 7 points five times. A whopping nine players threw forward passes, yet they had only 1 passing TD for the entire season. Mickey Sanzotta let the team in rushing with 268 yards, while Elmer Hackey let the team in rushing TDs with two. QB Harry Hopp was clearly the star of the show, however, throwing for 258 yards - in 11 games. 13 INTs and 0 TDs.

Harry Hopp after the 1942 season.

Yes, the Lions of 1942 set the standard for NFL atrociousness, but it would be surpassed...and then some.

8. 1935 Boston Braves

I'm too old for this sh*t.

Let's switch gears to baseball for a moment. Coming in at number eight is the Boston Braves of 1935, who, even with the Babe in his final year, managed to somehow finish with a staggering mark of 38-115, a pitiful .248 winning percentage. This is the third worst in baseball history and second worst in National League history (to only the 1899 Cleveland Spiders - MUCH more on them later). Though nothing's been proven, it's alleged that this team contributed more to Babe Ruth's early death in 1948 than cigars and whores.

"Grip's good, now we just need to move this arm about two feet lower."

Seriously. The Babe was pretty awful by 1935 and at the age of 40 he had little left. In fact, the Braves owner only brought the Babe in to draw morbidly curious fans. The team - while wallowing in the cellar - threatened to go on strike if Ruth wasn't released. Babe, ever the legend, went out on May 25th and hit 3 HR in 1 game - the last 3 HR of his career, and, with that final F-You to the Braves, quit. Sadly, his numbers for the season were an embarassing 6 HR, 12 RBI and a .181 BA. But it's not like the Babe was the only turgid pile of crap on this team. He just happened to be a famous turgid pile of crap. Fellow future hall of famer Rabbit Maranville, also in his final year, hit .149. Buck Jordan, their firstbaseman, hit a whopping 5 HR. Their pitching was as atrocious as their hitting, with "ace" Ben Cantwell going 4-25, to become the last starting pitcher in the 20th century to lose 25 games, Bob Smith went 8-18 and Ed Brant and Dany MacFaydin combined to go 10-32. They were outscored 852 to 575 on the season and finished 61 1/2 games behind the division champ Cubs. Just brutal.

7. 2003 Detroit Tigers

The '03 Tigers tried everything, even provocative new uniforms.

Man, Detroit just dominates this list. The 2003 Detroit Tigers make this list with an abominable 43-119 record and are affectionately know as "the worst team of all time without a good excuse." Most of the other teams on this list were either expansion teams or in the midst of massive rebuilding efforts, or had owners that simply didn't care, or were running a massive scam. (1899 Cleveland Spiders again. God I love the Spiders.) The 03 Tigers had none of that. They had high-paid players that didn't perform. They lost several key players from 02 to free agency and simply didn't adequately replace those players, though they tried. Which is just embarassing. Their team ERA was 5.30, while their team batting avg. was .240. Their pitchers were legendary, in a black plague sort of way. Mike Maroth went 9-21, becoming the first pitcher to lose 20 games in over 20 years. Jeremy Bonderman went 6-19 and was benched over the final few weeks of the season so he wouldn't lose 20 and shatter his fragile young mind. Nate Cornejo finished the tri-fecta at 6-17. This threesome became the first 3 pitchers to finish 1-2-3 in most losses to play for the same team in the same year in baseball history. Heading into the last week of the 03 regular season, they seemed destined to shatter the 1962 Mets record 120 losses (post 1900. The record pre-1900 was set by the ...say it with me... Cleveland Spiders!). The Tigers had 118 loses with six games to go, but somehow went 5-1. So there you have it. The 2003 Tigers, too bad to even be the worst team of all time.

6. 1973 Philadelphia 76ers

You don't need that. It's a basketball. You wouldn't know what to do with it.

The worst single season basketball team ever, has got to be the Philadelphia 76ers of 1973 who went a positively putrid 9-73, bad enough to finish 59 games back of the divsion leading Boston Celtics. Actually, the 76ers could score as they had 10 players who averaged double digit points per game that year. They just couldn't play basketball. They allowed a whopping 116 points per game. In fact, the only reason they averaged 104 points per game was probably because the other teams simply got tired and all sat down to rest. They started 0-15, then surged to 3-24 before losing 14 straight to fall to 3-38, then, after a win, lost another 20 straight to drop to 4-58 - a mind-boggling 1-34 stretch. Then they lost 13 straight to close out the season after a miraculous 5-2 surge near the end. In fact, the official 76er website proudly proclaims, "The team set the standard by which bad NBA teams would be judged for years to come."  And there you have it, your Philadelphia 76ers!

So there you have it, the bottom five of the 10 worst teams of all time. Check back tomorrow when we take a look at the top 5...truly some historic teams. Because it's not enough to be bad, you have to be epically bad.

Doh.